I'm trying.............

This afternoon I tried. It started out innocently enough. Rushed the kids into the van with usual rants and threats. Sluggishly they all piled in and promptly started whining. Worked hard to block the whimpering from the back seat and focused on the afternoon schedule. It was going to be tight, thanks be to the gods that tennis was cancelled. First up, was getting the third child to her piano lesson. Held up a good five minutes in the garage, while the soccer child searched for lost shin guard. Tried hard to keep mean and thoughtless remarks to myself, as I remember, specifically, asking him to find his stuff twenty minutes ago. Instead, found soccer star deeply immersed in book with one shin guard. Ten deep breaths and I was light headed and dizzy, resorted to staring meanly in his direction until shin guard was recovered. Arrived at piano lesson twelve minutes late. Piano child wouldn't leave the van, claiming she was thirsty. Seeing dollar signs with wings as each second passed, hastily promised piano child she would receive an ice cream after the lesson. Soccer child made a noise of dismay, quickly assured him that if he gave 120% at his game, he too, would receive an ice cream. The tyrant child in the car seat was also assured of her ice cream before a campaign could be mounted. Fifteen minutes later piano child skips out of her lessons and yells that the piano teacher would like her money for next month. Yell assurances that piano will be paid in full when I drop off song child for her voice lessons in a few hours. Tyrant child suddenly decides she doesn't need, nor does she want a car seat. Plead with tyrant child to just use the car seat, am forced to issue threats of jail time and mean police officers. She is not completely convinced that my threats contain any truth, but she does decide to buckle up. Of course, she might have been listening to soccer star's threats of no ice cream. We are late. Run through the drive through, which is amazingly fast. Soon piano and tyrant child are happily eating their ice cream. Happiness prevails. Soccer star keeps looking at the clock, assure him that I will get him to the field before the game starts. We make it, 4 minutes to spare. I have twenty minutes to watch the game, and then it is time to load piano and tyrant in van and head across town to pick up song child for lessons and then drive across town (new direction....west instead of south) to drop off said child. Standing there watching the game, feeling guilty about leaving early, made monumental decision. I cancelled song child's lessons. An hour in the car evaporated into thin air, just like that. It was liberating. Was I allowed to do that? Guilt had me calling song child to assess her opinion and to ward off any hysteria. There was none, and if I was reading the voice correctly, I detected a hint of relief. Soccer star was happy, and looking out across the fields, I spied piano and tyrant child happily arguing over who was "it" for a rambunctious game of tag. I took a big breath........ I had tried.